If you’re wondering whether or not I still live with my parents, the answer is yes. I’m still baby stepping my way through adulthood. My parents are hoping they’ll win the Powerball, so they can get me out of their house. I’m hoping they hit it too, I could use my own place and a good inheritance. I was only supposed to be home for a month, 4 years later I have no ETA on that move out date. Instead of sulking and complaining about living at home with my parents, I’d rather laugh at my experiences. So here we go!
- According to my parents if something breaks, clogs, or gets dirty, then I must’ve done it.
- If the cable goes out, I’m the most capable to fix it or call the cable company
- If the wifi goes out, I’m also the most capable to fix it. It seems that I’m a customer service agent and technician for Spectrum, but I’m not on the payroll.
- My parents come home and ask me to go to the store, like… how many stores did you just pass on your way home?
- I’m always excited for them to go out of town, thinking I’ll get a taste of what it’s like to live on my own. But I end up having to tell myself that they’ll be home tomorrow, while I try to fall asleep with the covers over my head. I’m twenty fucking nine!!!
- If I get caught touching the AC, the world will end lol. “You don’t pay any bills around here!” So I just suffer in what feels like hell – until I find the right moment to sneak and turn it down.
- Speaking of sneaking, I also have to sneak out of the house sometimes. If I get caught heading out – “Where you going?”, “Stop by the store for me.”, or “Go by McDonald’s and get me a big Mac with no pickles, wait no… extra pickles, no onions, extra ketchup, extra mayonnaise, the Mac sauce on the side, tell them I want fresh fries too!” This extra long confusing ass order and then they expect McDonald’s to get it right. Like, c’mon now people!
- I’m an adult child living at home. Sometimes I feel 29 and sometimes I feel 9, it just depends on the time of day.