If you really know me, you’d know that I’ve been in love with Jason Heyward since 2011. He has been the absolute love of my life since the day I first laid eyes on him. I first came across this fine specimen after scrolling through some basic cable channels. I didn’t have a remote control, so I stood there pressing the button as fast as I could to get through all of the sports channels, but I sometimes like to linger on those channels just in case a shirtless football player pops up on the screen. So I’m standing there, channel surfing, when what to my wondering eyes should appear a very good looking man with his shirt on. Based on his look and build I assumed he was a college football player, but I stuck around long enough to hear that he played for the Atlanta Braves, my home team! Of course I hopped on Google to find out every bit of information about Jason Heyward, I even YouTubed his interviews. Let’s just say I kinda stalked him without leaving my apartment.
Over the next few weeks, this man took over my thoughts and my TV. Every time I turned on my TV and started scrolling through the channels there he was on the screen – in an interview, at bat, making a catch, or his At Home -TV special would be on. He was bringing me back baseball. As a kid, I watched Braves games with my grandparents, but at that time I really hadn’t watched them since in years. Thanks to Jason, I began watching the games again, rooting and cheering for him while my friends looked at me like I was crazy – okay… I was a little crazy.
Not to get too personal, but he became the man of my fantasies. Not really in an erotic way, but not strictly platonic either. Other than being physically attractive he seemed to be very smart, kind, and humble, that’s not something I would expect from a professional athlete. So after 5 years of pining for a man who didn’t know I existed, how did the fantasy die? It’s all thanks to good ole social media – f**king Twitter. A few weeks ago he was tagged in a picture by some girl who I assume is his girlfriend. I assume she was his girlfriend because they took a picture together at a Beyoncé concert and her leg was basically wrapped around his. In five years I’ve kept myself naive to him possibly being in a relationship. I purposely kept myself off of his social media pages to avoid the exact feeling I’m feeling now. As long as I didn’t see him with anyone then I could freely fantasize about becoming Mrs. Heyward.
Well, what am I gonna do now? I stopped being a Braves fan after they traded him, then became a Cardinals fan and a now Cubs fan. Who am I gonna root for now? Who am I gonna build an entire fantasy dream world around now? Hmmm… I guess there’s always Drake, Mr. Aubrey Graham, he’s never really in a serious relationship. Maybe I’ll fantasize about being the one to make him change his whore-ish ways. Instead of writing songs about me he’ll write albums about our love.
Here we go again…