I Don’t Want Kids

The look on a person’s face when they hear my answer to the question: “Do you want kids?” is priceless. It looks something like shock and horror. I must be some sort of ungodly monster if I don’t want to have kids. While I completely respect women who have children, want children, or aren’t able to conceive, I also respect women who decide that they don’t want children as well.

Of course I’ve thought about what it would be like to be a mother and I’ve gotten a taste of mothering from being around my nieces, nephews, and my God daughter, but it’s not something I really see for myself. I don’t want to experience childbirth, I don’t want the responsibility of being a parent, I’m scared of ruining a child’s life, and I’m nervous about the possibility of being a single mother.

Being a parent requires complete selflessness, and I’m not there yet. I’m an introvert and having to give up my personal time and space really freaks me out. It’s a lifelong commitment. The pressure to get married and have kids still exists. It can come from your family, friends, or society in general. Watch any Hallmark movie and you’ll see countless movies about career women who regret their lives and want to go back in time to fall back in love with their first loves and become stay at home moms. Being a mother is a wonderful thing and children are a blessing, but I don’t believe that marriage and motherhood is for everyone.

I’m not going to lie, when I was in love, I could see myself having a family and living that life. I thought about what my boyfriend would be like as a father and husband, what kind of wife and mother I would be, and our lives as a complete family. All of those thoughts and fantasies died when he broke my heart. I’m not completely ruling out kids, I will never say never. If God wants me to have a kid or two, then it will happen, but right now at this very moment it is a NO for me. I see it that way for the next few years, but who knows, five years down the road my mind could totally change. I could fall in love with a man who brings those thoughts and feelings back or I could marry a man who has kids and become a stepmom. Being a mother isn’t limited to women who give birth. I’ve always thought about adoption maybe my mind would be more open to the idea when I am established and settled in my career. We shall see. Maybe Mother’s Day 2020 I’ll be writing a different blog post, but until then I will continue thoroughly enjoying my single, childless life.

7 thoughts on “I Don’t Want Kids

  1. Well, I have lived both sides. Childless and free wheeling and now with 2 babies under 2. The most important lesson I have learned is that happiness, self worth, contentment and all the other host of things we desire for our life are not contingent on having kids. If you are an unhappy person (and I am just using that as an example) then having kids wont make you happy. And vice versa.
    Kids will change your life and perspective but so will living in Europe for a year. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally agree! I am happy in my situation and I know I will be whether I have kids or not. We’re not all meant to have the same experiences, that’s the beauty of life. 🙂


      1. So very true. But I will agree with you that at a certain age the kid question from nosey folks gets really really old. But those nosey folk then just go on to offer their opinion about anything anyway! For example, the amount of people who think that they should/can comment on your pregnant body makes you want to punch walls!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Girl who on goodnesses green earth would want kids now? I have them but UNDERSTANDING what I understand now (I can’t say I didn’t know because my mom used to lament about the state of the world and having kids in them (not us particularly but the state of the world) if I could turn back time. Especially with one of the models being the “catch me outside girl”
    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Girl yes!!! I have a bunch of nieces and nephews 5 of them are 10 and under, plus I have a 2 year old God daughter, I worry about them growing up in this world. I worry about their safety, how they’re being influenced, their total well being. It’s stressful and they’re not even my kids lol. My 10 year old niece just got on instagram too, I’m a little scared.

      Liked by 1 person

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