To the Guy Who Didn’t Know We Were Dating

Just in case you’re wondering, yes, you read the title correctly. In order to explain the situation, I must explain what caused me to date someone who didn’t know we were dating. After seven and a half long years of doing the on and off thing with a guy who shall not be named, I was left broken hearted after he married someone else. I had no idea two days after reuniting during his military leave he would be married to another girl. Talk about shattered dreams; I never saw it coming. After three weeks of boohoo crying and drowning my sorrows in bottles of wine, I decided to come up for air and rejoin the world.

As I walked into the US Cafe, I had no intention of talking to anyone; I was just there to order teriyaki wings. I made my way to the counter and glanced up to see a handsome face with kind eyes staring at me. Feeling a bit flustered, I nervously began placing my to-go order. As I pulled out my money, he noticed my school id card and proceeded to make small talk about the school. I found our conversation and his energy to be refreshing. It had been a long time since I’d had a non-sexual conversation with a man. My food was ready and it was time to go. I left the restaurant and realized that I didn’t catch his name, but something told me to check the receipt, and there it was “Shannon.” Even his name was refreshing; I wasn’t expecting “Shannon” for a black guy.

The conversation with Shannon lingered in my mind for a few days, so I decided to take another trip to US Cafe. There he was again, handsome face and kind eyes. We talked about school and his aspirations of becoming an architect. He even sketched a small picture of a building and I could tell he was serious. He remembered that I told him about a test I was studying for during our previous conversation and he asked me how it went. This went on for about 6- 8 weeks. Although he probably thought I was only there for the food, I would go to US Cafe every week just to talk to him and feel his energy.

Shannon didn’t know it, but I was sort of dating him in my mind. I remember putting on a full face of makeup and cute outfits just to go up the street to US Cafe. I would try to figure out the restaurant’s slow times, so I could visit him and not have our conversations be repeatedly interrupted by customers walking in and out. To be honest, I would get a little jealous when he would talk to other customers. I know it sounds absolutely crazy, but I was just a broken-hearted girl who needed to experience a man in a different way. Even though I was kinda dating him in my mind and he was really starting to intrigue me, deep down I knew better than to read too much into it. I eventually stopped eating there after I gained a lot of weight and I could no longer afford to eat there. When I did return to the restaurant a few months later, Shannon no longer worked there.

I know Shannon will probably never read this, but this is something that has been on my mind for the past 14 months. Shannon changed my life! At a time when I was seriously hurting, he was there with his calm and kind demeanor. He made me forget about the pain, even if it was only for a few minutes, those minutes felt like hours. I learned that all men are not the same, because Shannon was proof. There are men out there who genuinely want to get to know you. He really helped me see men a different way. I will never forget how I felt in those moments with him and he will never know what he did for me.

Wherever you are Shannon, I pray that you have 10x the happiness you brought me and all of the love and success possible.


31 thoughts on “To the Guy Who Didn’t Know We Were Dating

  1. Crystal, thank you for checking out my blog.
    Enjoyed reading a couple of your posts.

    I ask The Father to give you a revelation of who you are in Him. And that Holy Spirit will show you the who, where and when. And that you will be sensitive enough that you sense it/see it in your spirit.

    I pray this over you, by the power of Jesus! In the name of Jesus.

    Much love. You are precious in His sight! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I am new to this community and I have a hard time watching my daughters heart get broken. I am using my blog to vent so I can be positive for my daughter. I love that you prayed for crystal! I feel like my blogs are little prayers to seek counsel for my feelings. I would love if you would check out my blog. I would love some christen feedback

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re never alone, everyone who is romantic in their orientation feels this way about someone. (P.S, thanks for the like on my other post :D)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey, thanks for reading my blog. Love your writing and yes, been there done that. Just like to think I’ve been there for someone who needed to “date” me. Everyone comes into your life for a reason! Keep writing and sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwww thank you ❤!!! I’ve never thought about it the other way around and being the person that someone else needs. I look forward to checking out more of your blog!


  3. Hello dear Crystal This would make a great movie! You had me in tears! Seriously. It was like watching a film and I could see the scenes: the heartache–I sincerely felt for you, and then tears of joy as I felt the healing you were experiencing with Shannon. God is good and it’s best to wait for a match made in heaven. If we take delight in the Lord, He has promised us the desires of our hearts! ❤ Ps. 37:4

    Happy weekend dear!

    ❤ carmen

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwww thank you so much for reading it!!! I cried when I wrote it and every time I proofread it lol. I didn’t realize just how much the situation still affects me, but I did realize that everything really does happen for a reason. I learned a lot about myself in that time, but most importantly I learned about God’s love and his ability to heal a broken heart. My short time with Shannon was definitely a gift from God! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I love this story of the unseen ripples of kindness. May we all be Shannons! Thank you, Crystal, for your own little ripple in liking my post at Quotable Creek. I’m new around here–that made my day!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is such a beautiful story! Although you should of asked him out! He sounds like an absolute catch!

    I used to do this with a pizza delivery guy when I was in high school. He used to come to the drive thru window every weekend at the coffee shop I worked at, and then I would order pizzas and request him to deliver them from his pizza shop. This went on for months. We actually became great friends from it!

    xo Erin

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwwwww!!!!! That’s a cute story! I wish I had the courage at the time, I was just having such a rough time emotionally that I couldn’t even envision myself asking him out. But if I ever come across him again, I think I could really do it.


  6. Thank you for swinging by my blog. Came here out of curiousity and I am a total fan after reading a couple of posts. This one especially touched me. I’m all misty-eyed. This is so beautiful. I am glad he was there at a time when you needed him to be. You have a beautiful soul, I hope you are continually blessed with happiness and people who will bring you this in great measure. xoxo.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and for reading my posts!!! I really appreciate it! ♥♥♥ He really helped me during one of the hardest points in my life. I’m glad I could write down exactly how I felt, so I’ll never forget it.


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